#they had to put the shitty vamp show with the shitty dude on my good middle of the week day

[fuck-i-like-too-much-stuff]

😭😭😭my wednesdays😭😭😭

[silver-ink-iron-words]

Henlo ! How are youuu ! Wanted to say loved loved loved that dorky vampire piece its so good ! Wanted to know if you wish to continue it would definitely read more of this

Hey there! I'm glad you enjoyed that piece, and thank you for the request

Part 1

That Sucks Bro, Part 2

“We can’t go in there.”

“Why not?”

“That place is full of vampires.”

The human looked at the vampire, an eyebrow raised.

The vampire glanced away. It seemed that, had they been capable of it, they would have blushed.

The human looped their arm in the vampire’s, and led them towards the bar. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know how to fight. I can’t protect you, if something goes wrong in there.”

The human smiled at them. “It’ll be fine. My friends and I come here all the time. Humans drink free on Fridays.”

They went inside, ordered, and found a table. A cocktail and a small glass of blood sat between them.

“It smells like iron,” the vampire said, grimacing down at their drink.

“So you’re not going to try it?”

The vampire sighed. “No, I should. It’d be shitty to let it go to waste.”

They squeezed their eyes shut, and took a sip.

Then their eyes burst open.

“Holy moly! This stuff is awesome!” They downed the rest in one go. “[Human], I was wrong about blood! It’s not scary, it’s delicious!”

The human smiled at them. “Glad to hear it.” They stirred their cocktail with their straw. “So does this mean that next time, you’d be interested in biting me?”

The vampire’s brows shot up. “Oh, um, if you want to.” They offered a bashful grin. “I’d like that.”

The human’s smile grew, and they finished their drink.

“So . . . why are you so casual around vamps?” the vampire asked. “I mean, if one of them came after you, you’d be seriously boned.”

“You have such a way with words, you know that?”

“You know what I mean.”

The human considered for a moment, then shrugged. “Sure, a vampire could hurt me. But so could a lightning bolt. Or a bad fall. Or a driver looking at their phone. I don’t see what good it does to live in fear when I don’t have to.”

“Wow. Well, you’re a lot braver than I am.”

The human quirked a brow. “You’re the one who took on an actual vampire.”

“And look where it got me.”

The vampire’s smile was pleasant, but their eyes held a degree of sadness. They rose. “You wait here. I’ll get us both more drinks.”

The vampire left, and the human stared down at their empty glass. Had they been insensitive, to bring the vampire here? They didn’t really know how the vampire felt about being turned.

Their thoughts were interrupted by the sudden awareness that someone was next to them.

“Hey baby,” the stranger said, flashing a fanged grin. “You look scrumptious tonight.”

“I’m here with someone,” the human said, voice cold.

The stranger put one hand on the table, and the other on the back of the human’s chair, boxing them in. “How ’bout we ditch that shrimp, and I show you a good time?”

The human started rising from their seat. “I have to – ”

The stranger clamped a hand down on their wrist.

“Hey, buddy,” a voice said from behind them.

The stranger scowled. “What.”

“Does it smell like updog in here?”

Both the stranger and the human turned to look at the vampire, who was standing there with a polite expression.

“What?” the stranger asked again.

“I said, does it smell like updog in here?”

The stranger released the human’s wrist, and turned further around towards the vampire. “What does that even mea— ”

The vampire punched them right in the face. “Nothing much, man! What’s up with you?!”

Then, the vampire’s eyes widened. “Oh owwwww.” They waved their hand rapidly. “Oh holy fuck dude, is your jaw made of lead or something? I – ”

The stranger punched them back, and they went flying into a table.

“[Vampire]!” The human leapt up, but then they stilled.

The bouncer was there, and he was glaring at all three of them.

---

The vampire pressed the ice pack against their face and winced. “I’m never starting a bar fight again.”

The human settled beside them on the sidewalk, their face aglow under the light of the 7/11 behind them. “How’s it feel?”

“Better, with the ice.”

The vampire stared out into the parking lot, and the human studied their face.

“You were really cool back there,” the human said.

The vampire looked over in surprise, and then averted their gaze. “Sorry for getting you kicked out of your favorite bar.”

“Ah, don’t be. That place is a dump. I know way better spots we can go to next time.”

The vampire readjusted their ice pack. “Next time?”

“Yeah. I’m curious to see how you act when you’re fully wasted on blood.”

The vampire grinned, their fangs glinting in the artificial light. “Sounds like a good time.”

Part 3

[z3llous]

Thoughts on the whole cake arc (part 1)

(Language, possible trigger, and potential spoiler warning)(also dumb jokes ahead)

The baddies:

This pudding has a gun

I expected to hate Pudding, but I'm just like "*sigh* This bitch." I am lowkey just tired of her already and I haven't even gotten to the part where she falls for Sanji yet. I'll probably post more thoughts on her later.

That one dude who I don't care about enough to remember his name

Sanji's dad is an S tier level shit lord 💩💩💩. Like how dare he talk to my boy like that. He thinks he's all that with a cherry on top, but that fucker couldn't get a bitch on his own even if his life depended on it. We both know damn well Sora didn't pick him. (I also don't believe Sora had a choice in having kids and what they did in their bedroom (இдஇ; ))

Resi vamp mommy gone wrong

Big mom is somehow my least favorite out of all the shitty people in this arc so far... And there are a lot of shitty people here. I think it's because she's just the root of most problems. Like damn sis just pick one. But no you gotta stick your nasty lil paw in everyone's cookie jars don't ya?

The pink one

(she's technically in this group, sorry)

I thought I'd like Reiju. I really did. I'm in the middle ground with her. She's ok, but I think she could use a touch more distinctness in her personality. I kinda like her relationship with Sanji since they don't truly get along. I don't want her and Sanji to be besties, because it wouldn't feel right after everything. Other than that she feels kinda simple.

Tweedle dee, tweedle dumb, and tweedle dumber

The three bros suck. Fuck those guys. Not gonna lie I kept getting Ichiji and Niji confused (Can you blame me???) They have no thoughts. Head empty. They all share one brain cell and one personality, if you consider ass hole a personality.

Egg man

The egg dude had me shooketh when he cracked. Like bro that was more horrifying than blood. Also how many evolutions did that damn pokemon have?

The goodies

Stretch Armstrong

Luffy is such good boy (he always is, but it just really showed) He just wants his friend back╥﹏╥. No lie I cringed so hard at the sound of his arms tearing. It was so genuinely traumatizing that I can't imagine being in Nami's position. My heart feels warm seeing him and Sanji talk things out (Although the punch did feel a little uncalled for I'll let it slide since he didn't fight back earlier. Also it probably helped Sanji feel less guilty about it.)

Sugar mommy but legit just sugar

Sora is so cute omg. I feel cheated not seeing more of her. She's so soft it makes me wish I had a mum like her, but that's just my mommy issues talking. Seriously tho she deserved better. I wish her and Sanji could've ran away together. I'd pay money to see that version. Why you gotta horde all the soft mommies, Oda? Eh? Share bro. We need them in this cruel world.

Weather queen

Nami needs therapy. Poor girl is not ok. Well, she technically is now in the part I'm at, but for real someone give that poor woman a break. She saw her captain get the shit beat out of him after so much struggle and by the one they're trying to save no less, then Luffy's flesh tearing horror house began, and Jimbe is like let's just put this nice burning torch here and see what happens.

Nami:

Spooky scary skeleton

Brook was cool and fun here. I really liked his side mission. He's clever and I'm living for it. Also that sass he was dishing out on big mom was immaculate.

Cat boy

Pedro is a nice edition. I really like him. He has uncle vibes and gets along well with everyone. His lil fantasy moment during the Brook rescue was lovely. He does his best and that's all I can ask of him.

Christmas and Easter mascots

Chopper and Carrot have been together the whole time so far and I like it. They make a really good team. Just all around wholesome vibes :>

Shark boy no lava girl

(No I will not apologize for the reference)

It's good to see Jimbe again. He hasn't done much yet so far, but I'm excited none the less. I hope he'll join the crew soon and become part of the shenanigans. We need more of his chill wise man vibes.

Beloved golden retriever

Sanji. Sanji. Sanji. My poor boy. He's too sweet for his own good. My god do I love him. I won't deny how much I love the outfit, he looks good in ruffles. I was sad, love struck, and extremely protective throughout the sad boi hours. Everytime he got hurt I wanted so badly to just punch the fucker that did it. He's not a failure. Not even close. He's such a good boy ಥ_ಥ. I can't express how much I loved hearing him talk about what was going on with him. Yes please 👏. Tell us more. I wish he got to the chance to talk more about his feelings, but I guess that's all I'm going to get for now.

I didn't talk about bege since I just got to the part where they agree to work together so I'll post part 2 when I finish the arc. Then I'll talk about all the shit that goes down.

[sortasirius]

Who He Is

Pairing: Dean/Cas, Dean/Original Male Character

Hi this is very sad and has been sitting half written on my phone for months but anyway Dean is bi and I love him very much.  Sam is also the best brother in the whole wide world.  Also tones of Destiel because I am nothing if not a sack of garbage for my idiots in love.

Words: 1669

Warnings: Abuse, Alcoholism, John Winchester being a homophobic asshole

On my AO3 here.

Dean and Sam staggered into the bunker after a grueling four day hunt.  Supposed to be easy, as they always were, but what was supposed to be five demons turned out to be twenty, and they had only barely finished them off by themselves, which, let’s be honest, was a pretty rare occurrence. So they came back to the bunker tired, smelling like a shitty motel and the road, but instead of trudging off to their rooms for a show and bed, they both dropped their bags in chairs and made for their usual spots at the table, Dean pouring a glass of whiskey while Sam turned on the record player.  Led Zeppelin II.  Excellent.

“So are you gonna spill or am I going to have to ask?”

“What do you mean?” Dean said, collapsing at the table, pushing a glass of whiskey towards Sam.

“What that demon said.”

Dean shifted uncomfortably.  There were about ten billion negatives to all the doors of hell opening at once, one of which was that all the demons that Dean had been trapped down there with knew him, and, unfortunately, knew him really, really well.

“Ah, it was a load of crap, you know how those sons of bitches lie.”

But Sam was clearly not having it.

“Didn’t seem like crap to me.  He said ‘John Winchester hated you long before he went to hell.’ Doesn’t seem like crap to me.”

Dean still saw the black eyes staring up at him, the panic he felt when he realized what it was saying, what it could tell Sam about him.  The shame rose like bile in his throat and he stuck Ruby’s knife in it’s neck before it could elaborate, but it’s laughter and his fear lingered all the way home.

“They were trying to rile me up, I-”

“Come on man, you can be honest with me.  What are you gonna tell me that’ll surprise me?”

Dean laughed a little, rubbing his hand over his face.

“Probably a lot.”

“Then spill.  I’m not here to judge, Dean.  You’re talking to the guy who has a longer list of mistakes than most people have of movies they’ve watched.”

So this was really happening?  Dean was finally having the conversation with Sam that always made his stomach twist in anxiety and doubt.  How far did unconditional love really go, he found out John’s limits years ago, what about Sam’s?

“You don’t know a lot of things about dad and me.”

“What do you mean?”

Dean paused, sucking in a breath, trying to find a little bit of courage, to tell Sam what had really happened to him when he wasn’t around.

“You know Flagstaff?”

Sam looked a little guilty.

“Yeah Dean, I know, I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t just go out to a bar the night you ran away.  I went out to meet this guy I knew.”

Sam looked confused.  Dean didn’t blame him.

“We had passed through there once when I was sixteen, maybe seventeen.  Dad had put us both in school while he went out to hunt...a rugaru I think it was.  And I met this dude.  Weirdo, like me.  His name was Andy.

Dean smiled, thinking of himself in his oversized leather jacket and his arrogant attitude, the only way to make sure that no one really talked to him.  But Andy had come up to him anyway, talked to him anyway.

“And we just...got along I guess.  I hated it when we had to leave.  Probably the only time I pitched more of a fit than you did.  I told Andy I’d look him up if we ever swung back through.  He said he’d like that.  So when we came back when dad wanted to hunt a loner vamp in the next county, when I was twenty-one.  Dad put you in the local high school and left me in charge.  And I looked Andy up, and he was still in town.  So, one night, I stuck you in front of your homework and went out to see him.  And when I came back, you were gone.”

Sam still looked confused, albeit a little sad and still a little guilty.

“What does this have to do with Dad?”

“Because Andy was helping me look for you.  I was pretty much hysterical.  Not only for you but for what Dad would say when he got back.  So Andy and I spent a whole week looking for you, and, uh, Dad found us.”

“Found you?  Found you what?”

“Come on man.”

Sam searched his face, and for the first time in his whole life, he was honest about that part of himself.  He almost kind of expected Sam’s face to contort, showing the same disgust and hatred that John had shown all those years ago.

“Oh.”

“Dad almost killed me.  Let him go, thank God.  But you know how you asked why my face was so messed up when you got back?”

“Dad hit you?”

“He almost tore me apart.”

Dean remembered it so well, even nearly twenty years later.  How John had come in the door and had seen him and Andy together.  How he had picked Andy up by the collar and thrown him out the door.

“Don’t even let me see you again.”

Andy had looked back at Dean, almost like he wanted to fight, but Dean had shaken his head.

He and Sam sat in silence for a while, taking in the truths right in front of them.

“That wasn’t the first time was it?,” Sam asked after a while.

“No, but it was almost the worst.”

“Almost?”

“The night you left for Stanford.”

The color drained out of Sam’s face.

“What did he do to you?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“No, I don’t.  But I need to.”

“He told me if I ever mentioned you again that I’d wish I was dead.  I told him if you could have a normal life, why couldn’t I?  And he did make me wish I was dead.  Had to go to the ER and tell them it was a bar fight.  Four ribs, three fingers, nose, punctured lung, ruptured spleen, and concussion.  Police tried to find the guys that did it.  Never found em, obviously.”

Sam stared at him.

“Dad did all that to you?”

Dean thought about how John had lifted him up by the throat and had said, with murder in his eyes, “you’ll never leave me,” how he had kept Dean on the shortest possible leash for years afterward, desperately afraid that he would leave too.  And Dean had thought about it many times.  He had thought about stealing a car and just hauling ass as far away from the disappointment, from the alcohol-fueled rages, from the white-knuckled hands on the back of his collar when he so much as looked at another man, and just starting over. But he had never been as ballsy as Sam like that and, even in the moments where he hated his father, he couldn’t bring himself to leave him.

“And you stayed?” asked Sam, like he was reading Dean’s mind.

“Yeah, I mean, it was Dad.”

“You didn’t deserve that, Dean.”

Sam looked at him with such conviction that it made Dean’s throat constrict.

“I almost left once.  Hauled ass to Bobby’s to lay low after he tore into me when a ghoul almost got us both killed.“

He remembered Bobby taking him in without a word, even though he showed up at his doorstep at 2am, wobbly from driving all the way from Vermont straight.  Bobby had fed him, cleaned up his bruises and cuts, and had put him to bed.  He slept for three days straight, and when he woke up, John was at the door.  He had begged Dean to come back, told him he needed him, and even with Bobby next to him, a hand on his shoulder, he couldn’t leave him.

“But I don’t know.  He showed up to Bobby’s and I went with him.  You probably think that’s stupid but, I just didn’t want to lose him too.  And if he wanted me, I should probably jump at it, because, you know, there were plenty of times he didn’t.”

They sat in silence again.  Dean not so subtly wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt.

“You ever look up Andy?”

Dean’s heart twisted at the sound of his name.

“Rode back through Flagstaff a while back with Cas.  Just to see how he was doing.  He’s married now, to some lawyer guy.  He owns a bakery.  They have two daughters.  He seems really happy.”

“That’s good,” Sam paused for a second,” Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Telling me.  And you know I’ve always got your back, no matter what.”

Dean loved Sam something fierce right then and he pitched forward, and wrapped Sam in the kind of bear hug he hadn’t given him since he was a teenager.  It sort of felt like he had taken a sponge and washed the dirt and grime off of the Impala’s windshield, like he was able to see for the first time.  And it felt, really really good.

Just as they broke apart, the Bunker door creaked open.  Cas came down the stairs, holding two bags of food from Dean’s favorite shitty diner.  Dean unashamedly lit up at the sight of him.  He felt lighter than he had in years, like someone had taken a fifty pound weight off his chest.

“Hey Cas.”

“Am I interrupting?”

“No,” said Dean, as Sam clapped him on the shoulder, “You remember the pie?”

“Dean, when have I ever forgotten your pie?” Cas deadpanned.

Dean laughed, and as Cas set down the food on the table, Dean reached out and hugged him too.  He held Cas with a freedom that he had never known and when he pulled away, Cas smiled at him softly, and Dean felt like he might be able to live for the first time in years.

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 8x09: “Citizen Fang”

THEN: Martin Creaser, an old hunter friend of the Winchesters. Amelia’s husband Don is back. Sam met Benny, and is phenomenally pissed about his friendship with Dean.

“Born on the Bayou” by Creedence Clearwater Revival.

Carencro, Louisiana.

Benny in his new (old) job and new alias: Roy.

Benny and Elizabeth are so cute. Guess it runs in the family.

“You got designs?”

“Nah. She's more like a little sister to me, you know?”

Or great grandaughter.

“So you don't mind if I take a shot?” Eww, dude.

Martin. Already on tailing job for Sam.

RIP man from the diner. Throat ripped out.

Let me go ahead and just say that I think this is one of Sam’s worst episodes. He and his decisions piss me the hell off.

“Look, he [Martin] called me when he got out, okay, asked if I had anything for him that might help him ease back into the game. He seemed okay – mostly – so I said yes. I've had him tracking Benny for the past week.”

“You put "mostly okay" Martin on Benny?”

Sam...what the hell. Where did your sense of judgement go in the past year???

“Benny's a vampire. And any hunter worth his salt isn't gonna let one just walk around freely. So I had Martin keep tabs on him. And right now, it's looking like I made the right call.” I already want to punch Sam in the face.

“You said look for an eruption. How's Mount Vesuvius?”

“I followed him home, just like every night. He turned up a path. I hear a scream. I catch up. Then, boom – there he is. The old coot that Roy was eyeballing at the joint – vamped.”

“Wait – did you actually see Benny kill the guy or not?”

“I saw enough.”

“Well, then, how can you be sure it was Benny if you didn't actually see him do it?”

Dean’s good at discrediting Martin. Then again, an 8 year old could point out the plot holes in Martin’s account of the events.

“This sound like the Benny you know?”

“I don’t know Benny.”

That’s right tho; Sam doesn’t know Benny, hence what’s going on right now.

“Why am I getting the distinct impression that your brother is vouching for a vampire?” Because he is.

“I got history with the guy, okay? I'm not signing up for a witch hunt. I owe him more than that.”

“What in God's great creation could a Winchester possibly owe a vampire?”

HIS LIFE AND THE LIFE OF HIS BEST FRIEND.

At least Sam gave Dean time.

“Sometimes it's not easy to see things for what they are.” You’d know about that, Sam.

Sam and Amelia had a lovely house.

“I don't want to do the right thing. I mean, this is the right thing, you and me.” It’s the right thing for you. 

“Maybe I'm going to hell for saying this, but I'm not ready to give this up.”

“Neither am I.”

Oy vey.

I love Elizabeth’s accent. It makes words like “gumbo” and pecan” sound wonderful.

“Bad news.”

“You’re out of pecan. Story of my life.”

No pie for Dean.

“Um, listen, I, uh, I tell you what. If he pops up before I can find him, you do me a favor and just have him give me a buzz. Or... could just drop a dime yourself.” Ooohhh Dean-o. I approve of this.

“Benny. I got a body here in Carencro with two holes in it, and I just found out you went fishing. Do I need to tell you what this looks like?”

RIP second victim. Throat ripped out.

Dean already had a machete ready to go.

Rogue vamp named Desmond wants Benny to be part of his crew.

“I know it's hard to believe, but I haven't always been this cute and cuddly.” Aww.

Benny, having lost Andrea and Dean, wanted to return to something familiar. His hometown.

“Went back to my old job at the café. I even found someone to hold myself accountable to.”

I really love Benny.

“Benny, you've got two stiffs on your hands and two hunters on your ass.”

“Oh, please. The half-wit who found me at the café? I'll take my chances with him.”

“That half-wit was sent by my brother, and trust me – my brother's not someone you want to mess with.”

Hoo boy.

“Listen, Dean, we came here on a dead body. You asked for some time, and now there's another dead body. Are we just going on trust here?” Yes, because he’s your brother, he knows Benny and the vamp that’s actually doing this.

“But the one thing I can say about Benny – he has never let me down.”

“Huh. Well, good on you, Dean. Must feel great finally finding someone you can trust after all these years.”

Sam’s feelings got hurt big time again.

“You're too close to this.” Oh and you weren’t too close to the Amy thing?

M A R T I N. WHAT THE FUCK.

“Glad your dad wasn't around to hear that. He'd have a mind to take you both out the woodshed and show you what's what. Half inclined to do it myself.”

“You listen to me. I brought you into this. I can bring you out just as easy.” YOU SHOULD HAVE.

“Just saying – brother chooses a vampire over a brother? I know how I'd feel.” pfft, ask Sam about Ruby.

Sam, meet Don.

“You are Sam, right? Relax. I ain't here to fight.”

“I heard about what happened to you. Rough deal.”

So was Don a POW? What exactly happened to him that made everyone believe he was dead?

“Truth is, I can't blame either of you for what happened. Hell, there were days there I thought I was a dead man. But when I do come back and what I come back to is this, well, it ain't no great mystery if part of me is thinking, ‘What's wrong with this picture?’" That’s extremely fair.

“I know part of her loves me. And now... part of her loves you. But the only one that knows what's best for Amelia is Amelia. So when all of this is said and done and she's made her decision, I'll respect it. And if you truly love her, you'll do the same.” Don was a stand up guy. I liked him.

Hell, he even bought Sam a beer.

Sam didn’t object to Martin handcuffing Dean to a radiator???

“They didn't go for it. They're on their way to you. I'd get scarce.”

“No offense, Dean, but your little brother doesn't exactly put chills up my spine.”

“Benny, listen to me. Do not underestimate my little brother, okay? He can and will kill you given the chance.” 

Benny should be wary of Sam. Sam’s feelings are hurt, he’s feeling petty, and like Dean just said, Sam’s looking for any reason to kill Benny. Shitty reasons, but he’s looking for ‘em.

Dean and Benny are off to find Desmond.

The text from “Amelia”. ”Sam, I need your help. Come quick.”

Why the hell would Sam leave without telling Martin ANYTHING.

RIP Desmond. Killed by Benny.

Out of context, Benny staring at Dean’s neck is gay af.

“My life here is over, isn't it?”

“Afraid so.”

Everything familiar to Benny is now gone. :(

“Guys like us, we don't get a home. We don't get family.”

“You got Sam.”

Dean knows he might not have Sam for long, considering what he just did.

“I'm, uh...I'm leaving.”

“What? Don found you at the bar.”

“Amelia –”

“He threatened you.”

Why did she immediately jump to that conclusion? What the fuck?

“Look, I'm just trying to do the right thing here.”

“The right thing? This morning, you and I were the right thing, remember?”

it was a selfish thing.

“I mean... Amelia, you saved me.” *s i g h*

Benny wanted to say goodbye to family.

“Thanks for not giving up on me, brother.” :’)

Dean tries to end this with Martin.

“Oh, and Martin?”

“Yeah?”

“Find a new line of work.”

Boom.

Martin really walked his dumb ass back to the diner.

Martin’s a piece of garbage hunter.

Martin really had to bring a civilian into this.

“Lizzie” Damn it, that’s so sweet.

“Please. I'm asking you – do not do this.” Benny really tried to resolve this peacefully.

WHAT THE FUCK, MARTIN.

“What do you want?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I want your head...on a stake.”

AWWW BENNY NOOO. CAN WE NOT DO THIS TO ME.

Amelia’s just fine...with Don. What a rude awakening for Sam.

“Feel Alright” by Steve Earle.

“Y-you told me to call you if I saw... him.”

“What do you mean? Roy? Is – is he there right now? Elizabeth, what's going on?”

“Just come.”

Poor Elizabeth. How in the hell did she get over the things she saw that night?

There was a huge fight.

RIP Martin Creaser. Killed by Benny.

“That Old Familiar Pain” by Marlin James (Sonoton Music). A little on the nose there.

The trick is revealed.

“Swapping Amelia's phone out with a burner, sending a distress signal... You got me good. When did you do that?”

“While back, in case I needed it. Looks like I made the right call.”

Did you? Even I question it.

“Any casualties?”

“Martin.”

“Was it Benny?”

“He had it coming, Sam. I'll tell you what happened.”

“I-I know what happened, Dean.”

NO, YOU DON’T.

Damn it, Sam. Martin’s involvement, the mishandling of the situation,  the near death of Elizabeth, and Martin’s death: It’s all because Sam couldn’t think clearly through his hurt feelings and pettiness. Sam brought Martin into this, failed to keep the situation in control, and look what happened. On top of all that, he refuses to accept any responsibility for this. It pisses me off. 

El Sol.

“I knew that was you.”

And now I have to deal with Amelia again.

[sis-tafics]

12 Years of Christmas - 2008

An Our Little Secret Accompaniment

Summary: Dean finds a familiar face on Christmas Eve

Series Masterlist

12 Year’s of Christmas Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Prompt: Christmas Music

Word Count: 2000

Warnings:language, Dean’s POV, pining Dean

A/N:  Thank you so much for reading. This is for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing and @like-a-bag-of-potatoes 12 Days of Christmas Challenge. Thank you to @atc74 for looking this over and the cover aesthetic

August 2008:

“You’ve never thought about it? Ever….And I’m not talking about with just someone, but like a hunter, someone who knows the life?”

Here he goes again, down this road, “No Sam, I mean, that kind of shit is a liability in this line of work. I’m not doing that to someone.”

“Even if it’s a hunter?”

God, my mind flashes to her right away. She’s fucking beautiful, badass, smarter than hell. I’d met her a few years back, didn’t even know she was a hunter until I ran into her again. Yeah, sure, I’d given it a shot, but she has no interest in a guy like me, she’s made that clear, “No.”

He’s quiet for a few miles, “So what about Y/N?”

Fuck, “What about her? She’s great sure, but I wouldn’t put this shit on anyone, and she’d-…”

Sam laughs, “Dude, I meant is she meeting us for this windigo? Did you ever hear from her?”

“Oh yeah, she’s gonna get there before us by a few hours,” windigos are on of her favorite things to hunt. She likes challenges. Personally, I didn’t really want to spend a few nights in the woods, but hunting with her is always a blast. Plus she always sticks around with us a couple days after a hunts done and hangs out.

“So Y/N, huh?” Sam says in this teasing voice and I just want to punch him.

“Dude, don’t even start.”

“You got awful defensive.”

“No! I just can’t follow when you are talking about five different things at once.”

“So why not Y/N?”

I slam my hand off the wheel, “Just drop it man.”

“Why? Cause you like her?”

Fuck, if I have to deal with five more hours of this shit, “No! She’s a hunter, we are hunters, we hunt together from time to time, that’s it. She’s one of the few friends we’ve got.”

“Sure thing,” he thankfully lets it drop and I turn up the radio.

____

She’s standing there, leaning up against a hunk of junk pick-up, hands in her pockets, watching as I get out. She smiles and I forgot how contagious it is when she does that, “Hey Y/N.”

She steps forward, reaching up to give me a hug and I wrap my arms around her, “How you doin’ Winchester?”

“Not too bad. You?”

“Same old, same old…I was glad you gave me a call. I was getting kinda bored,” She lets go, moving to give Sam a hug, greeting him too.

“We haven’t heard from you in awhile,” Sam says, letting her go and she walks back to the truck, grabbing a backpack and slinging it over her shoulder.

“I’ve had a couple of ghosts, a few vamps, a werewolf, but it’s been pretty quiet the last few months…Actually, it’s almost been boring, we getting this show on the road or what?”

“Sure thing sweetheart.” I laugh, heading to grab the stuff from the trunk. I’m hoping that this goes fast, there is only a few caves up in these hills and with any luck we should be able to get the bastard, but these fuckers are always smart.

We head up the trail, Sam way ahead while me and her catch up, “You’ve been hunting by yourself?”

“Mostly, rode with a few other hunters for a couple months, but it wasn’t for me.”

“What happened?”

She shrugs, “I just felt like I was baby sitting the whole time instead of hunting. I mean, it isn’t like hunting with you two.”

“Well you’re a damn good hunter.” I don’t mean to say it but it slips before I can stop it.

She blushes, her neck and face getting red, “Thanks Dean.”

I rub the back of my neck, “And you know, if you want to stick with us for a few hunts, you can.”

She half laughs, “I don’t know, thanks though, I don’t want to in-.”

“Don’t worry about it, it was just a thought.” And I fall quiet, wondering why I couldn’t just keep my big mouth shut, she wouldn’t want to hunt with us for very long.

“No, I just know you and Sam are you and Sam…I don’t want to slow you guys down any.”

I scoff, “Slow us down?”

“Yeah,” she glances away, almost looking embarrassed.

“I wouldn’t have called you Y/N if I didn’t think you’d be helping us.”

She gives me a small smile, “I guess so…But I’m going to have to turn you down this time.”

I can’t help the pang of disappointment, but I try to make a joke out of it, “It’s alright, I’m pretty used to you turning me down sweetheart.”

_______

Christmas Eve 2008

The one day a year that there is nothing to do and Sam has to kick me out of the damn room. Sure, I was the annoying one.

I turn the Impala down one of the snowy side streets, some dump in this shitty town has got to be open.  There is one bar with it’s lights on, one dive at the corner of the next block. Thank god, at least I could have a few before I headed back.

I park the car, climbing out. There probably isn’t going to be anyone in here but a few regulars, which is just fine with me. It’s just another Christmas in the books. They used to be exciting, hell, I used to try, but lately Sam just shoots it down and there really doesn’t feel like there is a reason to celebrate anymore.

It’s pretty dark in here, a little dirty, but that doesn’t mean the whiskey won’t taste good. I go to sit down on a barstool, “I’ll ha-…No way.”

The bartender looks confused as I get back up, walking down the bar and leaning next to the person halfway down, a few empty bottles of beer and a shot glass in front of her, “Now what’s a nice girl like you doin’ in a place like this?”

Y/N looks up, confused until she meets my eyes then her face lights up, this warm smile, “Dean Winchester.”

She smiles widely, half getting up so she can hug me. God, she smells like whiskey and vanilla, kinda a hint of something fruity too in her loose hair. She’s warm as I squeeze her shoulders, “How’s it goin’ sweetheart?”

She giggles, that little laugh that makes my stomach tighten, “Well, I’m drinking alone on Christmas Eve, so I will let you draw your own conclusions there Winchester.”

She signals for another drink and one for me, “Well you’re not drinkin’ alone anymore.”

She shrugs, “Well it is you, so I don’t know…”

“Ouch.”

She shoves my shoulder lightly, “Just kidding…Haven’t heard from you guys in awhile.”

“Me and Sammy have just been hitting the hunts hard,” I down the whiskey, signalling for a refill, “What about you?”

She sighs, “I just got done with one, lost two fucking people. One of them was a kid.”

Her face falls, she’s kicking herself, feeling guilty. I could tell her that’s the job, that’s the life, but I know it won’t make it better, it never does for me.

The bartender looks over and I point to her empty glass, tapping mine too. We sit there in comfortable silence. It’s one of the things I liked about her, nothing ever feels forced, like I have to talk or she has to talk.

We down drink after drink as Christmas music plays on the radio behind the bar. She breaks the quiet, “What are you thinking about?”

I can’t tell her what I’m thinking about, she’ll fucking strangle me. I can’t tell her that I’m thinking about the way her lips would feel against mine, or the way her skin would feel. I can’t tell her that I’m thinking about how her voice sounds saying my name. I can’t, “Just about the holidays, you know, how magical and shit it is when you’re a kid.”

She chuckles, “Yeah, god, I haven’t done a Christmas in who knows how long. Not since…” She trails off, her forehead scrunching and then she looks away, down at her hands. Not since her family died when she was a kid. I never had the guts to ask her about them, I’d actually found out from another hunter about two years ago. Demons.

I can tell the memories, the thoughts of them are killing her, and I wish I could make it better, make them go away, but anything I can think of doing she’s gonna wake up either hating herself or with one hell of a fucking hangover.

But then I hear it, the first few notes of some Christmas music I actually know. I get up, holding out my hand, “C’mon sweetheart.”

She cocks an eyebrow, “What are you doing?”

“I’m asking you to dance. Now c’mon before I look like an idiot standing here.”

She laughs, “You already look like an idiot and you don’t dance.”

“I’m allowed to know how to do one or two things you don’t know about there smartass,” I joke, wiggling my fingers.

She purses her lips, looking at me suspiciously. “Don’t make me regret this,” she sighs, taking my hand and I pull her up towards the open space in the bar, spinning her slowly as we get there and she laughs, rolling her eyes.

I try and act cocky, try to make a joke out of it, as I pull her close, “No one regrets a night with me sweetheart.”

She shakes her head, “You’re ridiculous, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, I do,” I chuckle, feeling her warm body against me,  her small hand wrapped easily in mine as Sinatra keeps singing ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’.

I can’t take my eyes off of her, she’s just got this small little smile on her face, one that reaches her eyes as she looks off and then at my chest, and finally they travel up to my face and her cheeks get red.

I chuckle, making her laugh when I lead her to spin again, pulling her back against me, my arm wrapping tightly around her waist, shifting easily from foot to foot in the space, singing along lowly, “…From now on, you’re troubles will be miles away.”

She busts out laughing, hiding her face in the crook of her arm,  “You are the biggest dork ever.”

“I know,”  and I am, especially around her.

And then she looks up, under her lashes and for a second my heart stops and I forget where I am, that I’m in some shitty, dump of a bar. All I can think about is her.  And I think, god, maybe after all these years it might happen, and it’s gonna be perfect, like something out of a damn movie. But then her face falls and she looks away, back at my chest, getting red. Dammit, I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

But luckily, the song is winding down and I can save this, “Hey Y/N?”

And when she looks up, I dip her dramatically making her laugh. I pull her back up, making sure she’s steady before I loosen my grip, “How about you spend Christmas with us?”

“What?” She’s still holding onto me, confused.

“Yeah,” I shrug, “grab some Boston Market tomorrow, give some gifts wrapped in newspaper…”

“Yes.” she says, and I can’t think straight, did she actually just say that?

“Really?”

She nods, “Thank you for everything Dean.”

“Don’t have to thank me for that sweetheart.”

She smiles, squeezing my hand, making my knees weak before taking a step back, “Yeah I do.”

tags:

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[bizarrebird]

Okay so, to start this, for reference, I have watched Buffy: the Vampire Slayer several times and taken a class entitled “Understanding the Whedonesque” and written/read several papers about all things Whedon, Buffy in particular, so I feel like I’m at least somewhat qualified to speak on the subject so, here we go

I will put the bloggings under a readmore. And yes, I am very sure someone before me has done this better, but I’ve had a lot of wine and this shit seems fun, so fuck it. And yes, I do like Buffy. I honestly do. Regardless of literally everything Joss Whedon, it’s a good show and was very important (arguably still important) for its time. So this may be a continuing thing. We’ll see.

Diana Liveblogs Buffy (Season 2, Episode 1: When she was bad)

tw: this episode features undiagnosed ptsd, and the subsequent mistreatment and misunderstanding of someone suffering said condition

We’re starting with Season 2, Episode 1 (Because most of season 1 just... isn’t good. Like it’s just bad. The first and last episode are passable, but the rest is mostly eh, and I won’t be revisiting it without significant comment)

So we start in with Xander* (human garbage) and Willow (a sweet child who deserves better) talking idly exchanging movie references (dumb ones, like really really, dumb ones. No seriously their big references are Planet of the Aps (the old as fuck one) and Star Wars (also the old as fuck one) don’t worry about it, Joss still thinks these are smart) and talking about the fact that Buffy has left to spend the summer (after she fucking died) with her estranged father in LA. This scene shows, rather explicitly that Willow has feelings for Xander which aren’t (????) reciprocated, as he is still very much hung up on Buffy, asking if she asked about him when she contacted Willow. Which is of course the most important thing she could have possibly done in such a situation. (we will revisit later all the times Xander* is terrible about Buffy and several other people/things as we go This is the first of many that will be touched on.) Xander* mentions that he has “certain needs” because he’s a man. Wow. A man. Wanting to fuck a woman. How amazing. What intense drama. The fact that Buffy might not be interested occurring to him exactly... never. Huh. How about that.

*fuck Xander

There’s sexual tension here that’s really awkward (more awkward with the fact that WILLOW IS GAY AND I WILL TALK ABOUT THIS IN SEASON FOUR BUT SHE IS GAY) were Xander* dabs her nose with ice-cream and cleans it off. And okay, honestly credit where credit is due this could have been grosser with him licking it off, but he doesn’t. He gently cleans it away. AND THEN They are attacked by a vampire and saved by Buffy, who seemingly appears out of nowhere to save her friends.

THINGS IT IS IMPORTANT TO NOTE IN THIS FIGHT SCENE

Xander does push Willow back and tells her to go. Ignoring the macho vibes here, he is trying to protect his friend who he was about to kiss. I don’t give Xander a lot of credit, but this is a decent moment.

Buffy slays this vampire by pushing him into a tree branch. Thus she does not kill the first vamp. She pushes him onto another object that kills him. No trust me this is a big deal. Buffy has not killed a vampire with her own two hands for a while. Willow hugs her and then She then asks “Miss me?” as we go to opening credits

((This is important. I don’t care about the hugs we get after credits, we don’t know if her friends missed her and I don’t know how to tell you how important that is))

Buffy comments on the fact that neither of them are ready to deal with vampires “very sloppy”.  Which they brush off, Xander* saying “that’s the first vampire we’ve seen since you killed the Master”. Buffy is immediately uncomfy, but they all blow through it. Xander* draws attention back to the vampire she just killed, and Buffy admitting that she went hard (”yeah, I didn’t kinda wail on him, didn’t I?”), but then that gets brushed off too. (do we see a theme yet???)

*fuck Xander

Willow says Buffy missed them burying the Master’s bones, and there’s this very close shot on Buffy’s face as she looks where Willow’s pointing. No one else notices, and no one else cares that Buffy is very obviously having a reaction to that and they just go on with their business saying they’re glad Buffy is back. (There’s a question asking whether she’s seen Giles yet and she’s pointedly ???? about it (cause she doesn’t want to admit to any issues) but that is a whole other Slayer/Watcher video that will develop as we go)

Alright then we go to:

Buffy’s parents putting away her stuff, which honestly is????? I think this plot would mean more if Joss got to do his actual version of the movie and Buffy’s dad got more screen time. But he doesn’t and Joss didn’t so this is just real awkward time that could have been devoted to my queen Joyce. Her dad mentions Buffy was distant. This is maybe because SHE FUCKING DIED AND NO ONE CARES. NO LITERALLY NO ONE GIVES A SHIT SHE DIED. THEY ASKED A 15-16 YEAR OLD GIRL TO DIED AND WERE SUPER CONFUSED WHEN SHE WAS UPSET ABOUT IT.

Okay, but this is not to shit on Joyce. She’s a good mom and she does her best. Please if you are for whatever reason only watching this show now, give Joyce a chance. She’s trying.

So we go to the school and

Cordelia (light of my life and sunshine of my heart this will make sense season 3 or when we get to Angel trust me) complaining about her parents not taking her on a glamorous vacation (this will be important later). Cordelia asks “is it possible to have too much character”, which is a great question (the answer is yes) and we’ll also get back to that later. Then we go to Giles and new (ish, remind me when hyenas ate the last dude) principal Snyder. There is an, extremely worrying comment from Snyder about how ‘every girl makes boys a time bomb’ (no like what the actual fuck Joss that’s so fucked up).

Snyder makes a comment about teenage boys turning into idiots around girls that ‘ironically’ (Joss Whedon doesn’t know what irony is) signals the arrival of Jenny Calendar. Jenny is the computer class (computer sciences???? idk what the fuck they were teaching in the 90s) teacher who helped last season with the destruction of the Master (a lame villain with like minimal buildup and a shitty plot, who killed Buffy cause fuck Joss Whedon).

Giles also likes her. A lot. This will be important later when the plot remembers who she is for drama.

Snyder ends this scene with the line “I might as well be talking to myself”, which HAHA he is. Isn’t that clever? Oh man, Joss, that’s a good one. So fucking original. I can’t believe this guy lasts as long as he does with the shit Joss gives him. No, seriously, look him up, he’s a decent actor??? but all he gets are bit parts cause of shit like this

Anyway

We go to Giles talking with Jenny about her exciting summer at Burning Man. Here we see how cool and ‘in touch with the youths’ Jenny is and Giles isn’t. Wow, how ever will they work out their issues? We just don’t know. There’s some marginally flirty banter featuring Giles picking up on the word ‘naked’ (so clever Joss wow, you are a wordsmith) and Jenny teasing him about liking books (she hints at him reading dirty books, or her liking them. idk what the real point is here) before Xander and Willow show up. Buffy shows up and Giles asks “how are you?”

To which she responds “alive and kicking.”

There’s a lot of fairly pointed stuff here about her dying and coming back, which again NO ON FUCKING TALKS ABOUT. But whatever. Buffy’s good. Like so good.

They quickly discuss and establish that the Hellmouth is still an open and active thing that they should be worrying about. Just in case anyone was wondering what this show would have going for it.

Now okay, Giles does try to be a decent human being here. He asks Buffy when she wants to start training again and clearly feels bad about the whole thing. And when she says she wants to start just then he’s iffy cause he knows there’s some underlying issues going on. But Buffy does insist. She says she’s ready.

INTENSE TRAINING MONTAGES

Okay so 90s montages aren’t what they are now, but the show does make it clear Buffy’s hung up on the Master and, y’know, the whole deal where he killed her. Yeah, that’s still a thing.

Then there’s some vamp stuff that like might have gone somewhere if the kid playing the anointed one wasn’t getting too old. But seriously in two episodes no one’s gonna care. Just worry about how this shit affects Buffy, that’s what matters.

And then Buffy has a dream where Giles tries to kill her while her friends sit there doing nothing. This is obviously super important, but again a point that I feel other people have probably covered better. But the essentials are that Buffy feels like Giles, and to a bigger extent the Watcher’s council don’t care and are actively trying to kill her, and that her friends (when push comes to shove) will stand by and let him do so.

We then go to this shot of Buffy’s window and SURPRISE SURPRISE when she looks back to it Angel is there. Who could have guessed. And okay like, this is a step up from Twilight. I will admit that. But it’s not as much of one as people want it to be. A 100+ year old dude creeping on a girl in high school will always be creepy. HOWEVER BUFFY HANDLES IT BETTER AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS LATER.

So to the point.

Angel is in her bedroom because he has an invite to the Summers’ house. This will be important later. Vampires who are given invitations to a house can use it whenever. REMEMBER THIS.

So anyway, Angel is literally the first person to actually ask how Buffy is. She does shrug that off, but that’s still important. No one else even bothers asking. However, when Buffy presses, Angel reveals that there’s other stuff going on which is the real reason he’s there.

Again, no one is asking about Buffy’s issues because they honestly, earnestly care. Just wanna point that out.

For what it’s worth, Angel does apologize for not having better news and for (at least I like to think this**) not having unselfish reasons to check in. And Angel does try to warn her about the anointed one’s power, which is... nice?

SPOILER WARNING: Nothing comes of this because the actor playing the anointed one was getting to old and wouldn’t work as a recurring villain.

This scene doesn’t quiiiite end there because (and I’m going to try to be civil about the Bangel moments because I don’t wanna shit on anyone’s ship, but god Angel’s the worst) Buffy asks ‘is that it?’ Like, quite clearly expecting more. That isn’t a subtle signal Angel, what the fuck

But he leaves with an awkward “I missed you” before Buffy can respond cause he’s an awkward asshole who doesn’t know how to process emotions. Yes, this is a recurring thing with him. Don’t expect it to get better. It won’t. Yes, Buffy deserves better. She won’t get it, I’m sorry.

ANYWAY

Her mom drives her to school, and here we see THE SECOND PERSON TO GIVE A SHIT AND SORT OF ASK BUFFY WHAT’S WRONG. She doesn’t do it perfectly, and Buffy doesn’t respond, but like... this tiny moment it a looooot for this show. Trust me. You will be amazed at the amount of “I don’t give a shit” that happens later comparatively to the two whole people we had giving a shit here about Buffy’s issues.

Clearly, by what we see, Buffy says nothing to Joyce here. HOWEVER she mentions something about Angel to Willow and Xander. Who are no help. At all. They ask about kissing (Willow, sweet bab) and groping (Xander, oh honey no, I see you Joss, I fuckin see you). So yeah. MENTION OF RELEVANT 90s BAND AT THE BRONX WOW WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE I DON’T REMEMBER

And then Cordelia (my queen) arrives. The show is blessed with her glorious, radiant presence, and we should be so grateful.

So Cordelia (my badass queen who knows no bounds) just flat out stats that she knows demons are a thing and she’s not afraid to admit it. Xander and Willow are trying to keep up the ‘all is normal’ thing, but sweet Cordy has no patience for them. Cordelia (wonder of wonders) says she’s still freaked about being around for the Master stuff last year and (WITH A VERY SIGNIFICANT CLOSE SHOT) tells Buffy “your secret’s safe with me” (which would be a declaration of love on any show between an m/m pair I’m just fucking saying). Buffy (who isn’t ready to accept that she’s bi yet) brushes her off, which, I just wanna say, EVERYONE IN THAT SCENE POINTS OUT.

And we cut to the Bronze (idk if that’s the most correct spelling, but that’s what google seems to think is cool) . Willow and Xander are talking with Willow ( a soft child who knows little of the world yet) saying Buffy’s different now and Xander (a gremlin) saying who cares. Xander just wants to ogle that sweet Buffy bod, which becomes apparent when Willow tries to recreate their cutesy moment from before and it shot down completely.

And I forgot about this moment cause no one cares, but we cut away to vampire biz with the Anointed Baby digging up the Master’s bones for some creeptastic ritual. He doesn’t care about his followers and neither should you. This scene would matter if the anointed one matter, but he doesn’t, so it doesn’t. The only thing that should matter here is that the ground where the Master is buried is consecrated, but that’s never gonna come up again, so don’t worry about it, no one cares.

Stepping in time with *COOL 90S BAND MUSIC* Buffy struts into the club in a dress that’s hot but like... it’s still the 90s so don’t get your hopes up for sideboob. Also Angel is suddenly here I guess???? This would be a lot less weird if he had been there in any of the establishing shots, but Joss is still learning here, I guess, and forgets (frequently) that Angel should exist outside of his love interest, especially if he’s gonna get a spinoff later.

Buffy and Angel say hi and it’s awkward and I would probably care more if I rewatched season 1 first, but you couldn’t pay me enough to rewatch that. There’s clear tension there with Buffy wanting Angel ti give more of a shit and him not getting it because he’s spent a hundred years barely being a person, and Cordelia watches because???? reasons???? I guess. Buffy goes over to flirt with Xander and dances with him and it’s literally uncomfortable for everyone because this is an aggressively clear sign that BUFFY HAS BEEN THROUGH TRAUMA AND IS NOT DEALING WITH IT AND IS LASHING OUT BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO

Like I’m not saying that makes it okay, but this scene is a cry for help from Buffy that no one responds to. And then Cordelia (my sweet love) is forced to regurgitate words from Joss telling Buffy to ‘get over it’. Uh huh, yeah sure Joss, she’ll get right on that you dick.

And then Cordelia gets dragged off by vamps literally right behind Buffy’s back. Like that is the most literally of literallys. And she finds they also have Jenny Calendar there like ????? did they just snatch her and no one gave a shit???

Okay, okay, moving on, Buffy heads home-ish and finds the dug up Master grave which like... is in the middle of a regular cemetery and seems like it should have been fucking noticed by someone???? Whatever, all adults in the Buffyverse (except Joyce) suck I guess

AND THEN. Fucking then we cut to Willow saying Buffy has to be possessed for her weird sexy dancing with Xander. Instead of, y’know, the fact that she’s dealing with a lot of trauma and coping in shit ways and no one cares. Willow, I love you, but you’re not a great friend. Like straight up***.

Xander (a garbage boy wrapped in moldy taco shells****) tries to argue for a second before agreeing. Giles does try to point out that Buffy’s dealing with some trauma (which he has at no point directly addressed with her cause his spine is made of marshmallows and paperclips), and then Buffy shows up and says the Master’s bones are gone and everyone else forgets that she’s dealing with some massive shit. Cause wow, they might be in danger.

ACTUALLY I wanna point out a thing here where Buffy’s like ‘this is slayer stuff, no civvies’ meaning no Xander and Willow and like... given the response he has to Willow being in danger later, his response of getting super pissy now This is gonna be my first

FUCK YOU XANDER HARRIS

FUCK YOU AND YOUR GARBAGE PRIORITIES

FUCK YOUR CRUSHES AND FUCK YOUR ONLY DECIDING GIRLS ARE WORTH CARING ABOUT WHEN THEY’RE DIRECTLY RELATED TO YOU

ahem

Anyway

Snyder says some weird stuff and we move on.

We go to the library for RESEARCH FUN TIMES. Giles reads some prophecy thing saying they need the bones of the Master to bring him back and the blood of whoever was close to him when he died. Huh that’s interesting phrasing, or is it. A rock crashes through the window with a bracelet attached that Buffy immediately identifies as Cordelia’s (why do you know that’s hers Buffy? why do you know that bracelet?). It’s threatening and says come to the Bronze and is deffos a trap, but Buffy goes anyway cause fuck you not-dad

Buffy goes out to kick ass and I believe in her. Angel shows up and is all dark and brooding and no one cares, Angel. They don’t make out cause Buffy can do better and she heads into the Bronze (also there’s terrible foreshadowing about them fighting later and I hate it don’t look at me). Okay a lot of meta could be written on Buffy and Angel talking there but I don’t wanna do it

The trap isn’t for her surprise. It’s for Giles and Willow who were close to the Master when he died. Buffy realizes this and goes back to try to help them and gets there too late and Xander makes me hate him forever. He says he doesn’t know what Buffy’s issues are (there are a lot of them would you like a list fuckboi) and he doesn’t care (and yet he continues to call himself Buffy’s friend) if she had worked with them for five seconds (uh what five seconds? before or after she gave you all the info you had and then went to deal with literally the only lead) and he says, and I fucking quote “If they hurt Willow I’ll kill you”

Suck my giant dick Xander Harris. Maybe you’re a teenager and you’re stupid, but still. that is not the kind of threat you make to a friend, let alone one who fucking weekly saves your selfish entitled ass

I get this is supposed to be a moment where we’re shown he cares about Willow, where there’s a hint there might be chemistry there, but all this comes off as is spiteful and Joss Whedon shoving it in our faces that Buffy is wrong

She’s wrong for feeling her feelings

She’s wrong for not immediately getting over the trauma and hardship Joss fucking Whedon wrote her into

She’s wrong for not immediately knowing what to do to make things better

In case it’s not obvious, I hate this and don’t accept it, but LET’S PRESS ON SHALL WE

Xander actually takes a second to fucking explain why they took the people they did. We cut to Buffy torturing the one vamp who attacked her before (no one’s ever gonna touch on the morality here. like ever. like what the shit guys fucking Supernatural handles this better). Then we go to some... ceremony to probably resurrect the Master. Buffy plots with Xander and Angel “I’m gonna kill them all, that oughtta distract them”*****

And then I guess the ritual almost happens????? There’s not super much threat. The anointed baby runs away and Buffy eventually kills everyone. There’s some cool fight moves, I guess. And Xander and Angel are vaguely helpful, but they mostly let Buffy do everything

Buffy then goes to smash the bones of the Master and FUCKING FINALLY gets to have an emotional moment. Angel comforts her (he still doesn’t deserve her but like at least he gives a shit so... that’s good, I guess, better that literally everyone else here******) . And everyone else looks on and thats???? really weird???? Like there’s no emoting in any of the faces and it just feels v strange

We go to the high school the next day???? and Cordelia talks to Jenny Calenday briefly. Then we go to Giles and Buffy, who (because Joss Whedon secretly hates her which is my thesis for this project btw) says she made all the goofs. All of it is Buffy’s fault you guys. She did everything wrong. Wow. What a concept. Wow. Can you believe it. Because I can’t. I literally can’t wowzers.

Buffy goes to class and... has a moment with Xander and Willow I guess???? They saved her a seat so... everything’s fine now??? idk what the fuck the emotional conclusion we’re supposed to get here is so

Whatevs

FINAL THOUGHTS: All in all, this episode did have an important emotional arc for Buffy and isn’t a bad season opener. It didn’t introduce the main villains, but it did deal with significant wrap ups from the previous season and alluded to some potential conflicts down the road.

*My ‘fuck Xanders are largely as a result of a later ‘fuck Xander viewpoint’ but I think it stands

**For the record, I don’t like Angel. I don’t like the Angel/Buffy relationship. BUT I will give Angel points where he gets them. And right now, he gives the most of a shit about Buffy, so he’s doing decent, not great, but decent in by books

***Buffy and Willow both tend to be iffy friends when there’s a significant other involved. It’s a recurring thing and it’s not great.

****I am legit giving Xander more of pass now because he’s a teenager. He should still know better than to be the intensely shitty shit that he is, but he’s 16 now. This will change in later seasons

*****Okay but how does no one notice or give a shit that Buffy’s dealing with some stuff. She’s 16. This is fucked up, fuck Giles, fuck the watchers, fuck Angel, fuck all of it

******Not to detract from the moment but Buffy’s definitely standing on a box here like. Sarah Michelle Gellar is tiny and David whatshisface is a giant